Hazardous Waste

Today was an exercise in highs and lows, but it was the end of the day that really woke me up.

I follow Tricia, Jason Mraz's former joyologist (yes, joyologist) in twitter and she had an amazing tweat. This is what it said:

embracing change......its a comin...... before u go to bed let go of things that no longer serve u. let the full moon take them away!

Ahhh! How amazing is that? And that is just what I'm going to do. We studied hazardous waste in my conservation class today, and I just realized that all these thoughts, feelings, and subconscious opinions I carry around with me every day are just that, hazardous waste. And they need to be contained and disposed of, just like any other harmful thing.

I also spent an hour or so in Facebook looking at pictures. I realized that I hve hated myself (particularly my body) for a very long time. And I also realized that it really isn't about my weight, because looking through photos I realize I have been just about every weight I could be, and that didn't change my self loathing. Instead, self hate and disrespect just bred more and more of the same. So, time for a paradigm shift.

I am letting the amazing full moon and all of its wonderful power start the process of taking these memes, these pain bodies, these toxic thoughts, away. I will write new subconscious thought patterns of love and self respect.

And it all starts with auditioning for Glee tomorrow morning. I dedicate my performance of True Colors to everyone I love, which is everyone, but mostly to myself, because I need it.

Namaste.